Categorized | Life


Posted on 07 October 2008

What we are talking about here…
Big subject! Or is it? There are different types of relationships, with:

  • Parents, class mates, teachers, lecturers, tutors, team leaders, friends, partners, church and many others.
Why it is important…
People need to get on with other people. It’s a basic fact of life that we live together in communities – homes, schools, colleges, work places, teams…
What you need to know…
How you relate to others is a reflection of how you relate to yourself! If you hate yourself, your self-esteem will be low, your self worth will be low, you will assume others think of you in the same way you think of yourself. As a result, you will lack confidence and find it difficult to relate deeply with others.

There are many reasons why your self-esteem can be low:

  • Past criticism by parents, teachers and people who have held authority over you.
  • Wrongs you have – or feel you have – committed (check out false guilt with someone whose advice you can trust).
  • Negative views you hold about yourself from words spoken over you in your past – “You’ll never be any good” – “You are a waste of time – “You always mess up” – “John is much better than you – “Of course Sarah always passes her exams”
Next Steps…
You need to “unpack” some of this. If you are able to talk with a trusted friend or even a professional counsellor then so much the better (if you really feel low). But you can make a good start right away – here and now (no time like the present):

  • How much do I like myself?
  • How do I feel about myself (use descriptive words or phrases)
  • What triggers negative feelings in me?
  • Can I make any obvious changes (e.g. drinking makes me feel bad the next day, my work suffers, my friends get ahead of me, I feel less good than my friends as a result, I feel depressed – everyone else is smarter than me….)?
  • Are there things in my past – words spoken over me – things I have done – experiences I have had – that make me feel bad about myself?

Now look at these, sleep on them and if you can not sort them out on your own – find someone – possibly a doctor or counsellor you can talk to about them. they have to be dealt with or they willl continue to affect your life in a negative way. Good luck (we’ve all been there to one degree or another).

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1 Comments For This Post

  1. guide on dating says:

    Great article, really alot of these issues stem from a lack of confidence. Check out my article on building confidence:

    how to on confidence

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