• Your job choice
• The hours you will work
• Whether you accept or decline a job (based on available childcare and/or the amount of travel time away from your family)
• When you decide to have children

Having Children Early

Some women choose to have children earlier in life, placing career demands temporarily “on hold” while they focus on parenting. In fact, one recent study, “Children and Careers: A Longitudinal Study of the Impact of Young Children on Critical Career Outcomes of MBAs,” cited maternity or child-related leave as the number one reason for employment gaps for women.

Interestingly, this same study showed that women who chose part-time work when their children were younger actually ended up with slightly higher salaries when they did return to full-time work than those who worked continuously.

“I had my children one after another right after I got married,” states Jeanine, a young mother from Ohio who works as an administrative assistant. “I’m glad I did, because now that they’re older and in school, I’m free to work.”

Delaying the Stork

James Heineman, president of a Texas executive placement firm, has seen a recent trend. “I’m seeing more women in management and executive level positions in the past few years,” he states. “And quite a few of them are choosing to wait until later to have their children. It isn’t uncommon anymore for women to wait to have their first child when they are in their thirties.”

Choosing to wait on having children has both advantages and disadvantages. Heineman states one advantage: “Parents who are more mature are usually more patient. They seem to have ‘mellowed out’ some, and so waiting until later in life can be a good choice for many women.” He shares, “I have one female client in management who has an 18-month-old toddler. She’s 51.”

On the other hand, a woman faces a “biological clock” that can mean being less fertile by midlife. And another concern is going through menopause while rearing young, active children at the time that a career normally peaks.

Creative Work Options

Some families have faced the challenge of combining parenting and career by changing their hours to more flexible ones, or experimenting with options like telecommuting (working from home electronically).

Rebecca chose to telecommute when her daughter was an infant. She says, “I wanted to have a parent at home for her at all times, so I would work nights when my husband got home from work. It was rough, but then I found the company I now work for as a freelance audio book editor, which I do right out of the home.”

Other couples choose to reverse the traditional roles. Says Heineman, “Over the past few years, I’m seeing more men choose to stay home and take care of the children, especially if the mother has a high-paying career. If Mom earns $150,000 a year and Dad earns $40,000, often Dad is willing to stay home so Mom can work.”

Corporations and healthcare organizations are offering employees creative scheduling as an option to increase employee retention. Baylor Medical Center in Dallas is one example, offering scheduling options that include:

• 12-hour shifts (three shifts are equal to full time)
• Weekend premium plans (working two 12-hour weekend shifts for full-time employment status and pay)

It is up to the individuals to decide when to have children and determine the best way to balance work and home. One thing is clear, though: Children affect working parents, but parents‘ options for combining both career and home life are greater now than ever before.

The biological clock once ruled the female lifecycle. But these days, the clock most women adhere to is the one they punch into work with. “Sixty-seven percent of today’s working women occupy blue-collar jobs and have children under the age of 18. It would be a lovely world if we provided total support for mothers, but dual-earner families are in the majority now. We’re living with a different construct,” says Lisa Benenson, editor-in-chief of Working Mother magazine.

Making It as a Mom

The median age a woman has her first child today is 24.3, according to Benenson. Even at this early stage of a woman’s career, “It becomes tremendously important that she’s planned and set herself up–and achieved enough to take a break,” she says.

If you’ve been resisting your maternal instincts, realize it’s normal to be frightened about the life changes you’ll undergo.

“But don’t worry about it. You’re never going to be completely ready. It’s a huge transition. But, having a baby doesn’t mean you’ll stop achieving in your career,” says Benenson.

Young working women have much greater flexibility than at any other time in history, according to Benenson. “Companies are doing amazing things and adding new benefits,” she said. While job-sharing, compressed workweeks and telecommuting are a few of the more common practices, the concept for new moms of gradually returning to work is a more recent one. Under this arrangement, employees are able to come back part-time for a month or two, before going full-time again.

And in addition to on- or near-site childcare, “It’s becoming more common for companies to have a lactation room for new mothers, so that they can continue to breast feed after returning to work,” said Jean Holbrook, director of product management for Lifeworks, a division of the Ceridian Corporation, a payroll and human resources-support company.

Whether to Work?

The decision to return to work after giving birth often depends on whether or not you’re the sole provider for your baby. If you’re financially secure, decide what “quality of life” means to you, according to Hilary Boyd, author of Working Woman’s Pregnancy.

“You may be loving motherhood so much that you know you would be miserable swapping it for the workplace,” she writes. This book is a worthy read for working women on the verge of becoming first-time moms. The author advises on the practical issues you’ll face including:

• Separation anxiety. Being anxious as you re-enter the workplace and turning your baby over to a caregiver is natural, but your anxiety should lessen as you get used to your work routine.
• Guilt about working. It’s natural reaction when your caregiver tells you about your baby’s first step, or if you’re not around to comfort her when she’s sick. Don’t fight this feeling. Instead, view the time you do have together as precious and don’t fret about the parts you’re absent for.
• Fatigue. After a long day on the job, you may be too exhausted to feed, bathe, or play with your child. Communicate and share tasks with your partner. Or, pay your caregiver to stay overtime so that you can unwind before resuming your parenting duties.
• Working breaks. You may find you need a rest from your career. If economic circumstances permit, consider a sabbatical, reducing your work hours or switching to a seasonal or part-time job. You’ll feel rejuvenated and you’ll learn how to manage your work and family life more effectively.

Remember, your baby will take priority over your partner for a while. Make time as a couple so that your relationship doesn’t degenerate.

Lisa Benenson, editor-in-chief of Working Mother magazine, believes corporate America has lately tried to improve the work-life balancing act for mothers. Since the magazine began publishing its “Best Companies for Working Mothers” survey in 1986, the number of listed firms rose from 30 to 100. And, with nearly a million subscribers, competition for a spot on the list has grown fierce. Employers earn the Working Mother distinction by implementing benefit plans and initiatives that greatly improve the quality of life for employees.

“The single most important benefit for working moms is flex time,” says Benenson. “If you can’t take the morning off to see your kids’ doctor, your life is hell. You need the flexibility to do those things.”

While job-sharing, compressed workweeks, and telecommuting are a few of the more common flex practices, the concept of a gradual return to work for new moms is a more recent one. Under this arrangement, “Employees are able to come back part-time for a month or two, before going full-time again,” explains Jean Holbrook, director of product management for Lifeworks. Her company, in part, provides employers with a suite of integrated, work-life, employee assistance programs.

Though you might expect many moms to take advantage of these flex options, they usually don’t. Nearly 75 percent of today’s working women hold blue-collar jobs, so the fear of losing their position is too great. Unfortunately, says Benenson, those in the upper corporate ranks are the only ones taking advantage of family-friendly perks. “It’s important that benefits go to women up and down the ladder.”

The Bigger Picture

What’s equally disturbing is that the number of women who actually advance to senior and executive positions is still minute, compared to their male counterparts. In fact, just 12.5 percent of the corporate officers and 4.1 percent of all top earners in America today are women, according to a recent Working Mother article.

Some exemplary companies, however, are addressing this disparity. They provide leadership training for female managers, mentoring programs, and formal compensation policies to reward those who help women advance. And, to guard against losing valuable female employees, smart companies even offer onsite (or nearby) childcare.

But there are even more innovative benefits out there when it comes to infants and kids. “It’s becoming more common for companies to have a lactation room for new mothers,” says Holbrook. Companies may also have a lactation expert provide counseling about such facilities, both before and after a woman re-enters the workplace.

During vacation or holidays, most parents try to keep their children occupied with activities. When plans fall through, employees have to take time off and provide supervision. “It’s a very serious business problem for employers,” Holbrook confirms, “keeping people at work and productive when their kids are on break.” Some companies now host their own onsite summer camp or holiday program, or contract with a local camp for the service.

To cover emergency situations, employers have started to introduce back-up care programs. Holbrook explains: “Employers determine in advance how many times a year they will pay for back-up care. [Our company] pays up to $100, ten times a year.”

Creative Ideas

Large employers offer various wellness benefits as part of a compensation package: in-house fitness clubs, discount memberships to the local gym, on-site flu-shots, yoga instruction, herbal massages, and weight-loss counseling. Concierge services are another extremely attractive perk for working moms. Professional “errand runners” handle everything from picking up theater tickets to having your car tuned up, according to Holbrook. “Women take care of about 80 percent of these logistical things,” she says, “and that’s why the whole convenience arena is so appealing to professional women.”

Smaller companies have to be more creative. While it may not be cost-effective to develop onsite child-care, firms can reach out to the local business community and negotiate lower rates or vouchers for daycare providers for their employees. They can match their employees’ 401k contribution up to a certain amount every fiscal quarter. And, for workers interested in tuition re-imbursement, “Small companies can agree to pay for one class per quarter or book expenses,” Dockter adds. “Anything helps.”

Sounds charming, even romantic, right? But love, passion, and desire aren’t the only ingredients for success in business. Despite what you may have heard, it isn’t as easy as pie.

Just ask Susan Axelrod, president of Love and Quiches Desserts, a New York-based manufacturer that distributes bakery products worldwide to restaurants, hotels, caterers, airlines, and coffee houses. Since founding her hobby-turned-business in 1973, Axelrod’s husband, son, and daughter have each assumed prominent roles in the company, which today employs a staff of 200. Additional management was necessary as the business evolved: her husband Irwin, who serves as chief financial officer, and son Andrew, who is putting his graduate law degree to work as chief executive officer.

Rewarding Roles

Axelrod now defers on some business matters to her son–and enjoys the rewards of this role reversal. “I know whose hands the business is in,” she says, “and it’s fine with me that I’m not numero uno.”

Though she wasn’t apprehensive about her son joining the business, Axelrod offers some caution. “It’s just as hard to work with your children as it is your husband. It takes discipline and you must keep it impersonal” For one thing, Andrew refers to his mother by her first name during the course of business, rather than as “mom.”

A close family, the Axelrods have always championed each other’s skills and abilities. So, when daughter Joan Axelrod Wapner came aboard as director of public relations and business development, the family was thrilled to welcome a new team asset. “With a sales and marketing background and her engaging personality, Joan has gotten us plastered across so many newspapers that the phone rings off the hook,” her proud mother boasts.

Avoiding Shop Talk

While her family has struggled with the unique challenges of siblings and spouses who work together, “Our relationships have not been affected,” said Axelrod. “We divide the areas of responsibility, we don’t talk business outside of the office, and we respect each other’s decisions.”

With a general rise in entrepreneurship, small, family-run businesses constitute the majority of all businesses nationwide, according to Karin Porinchak. She is the assistant director of seminars and contract programs for the Center for Family Business at Long Island University’s C.W. Post campus. The Center hosts retreats, workshops, and seminars that focus on families and their ability to work as teams.

As their parents ready to retire, today’s younger generations are transferring skills from related fields and entering niche areas of their family-owned firms, according to Porinchak. “Developing an Internet presence or installing an electronic ordering system are prime examples. It’s good, because these family members can do their own thing, while enabling the business to compete better globally,” she said.

Family in the Spotlight

When Lucille Gould and David Weinstein met, each had distinct career histories. Gould had followed in the footsteps of her father, a Vaudeville entertainer, performing in theater and comedy since the age of 12. David was mainly a writer, making ends meet at coffee shop jobs around Greenwich Village. After they wed, they embraced a turning point in their lives, deciding to return to what they loved doing–but this time, together.

“We built a comedy, with singing and sketches, based on a character, much like Lucille’s persona,” said David. “Initially, the promotional costs of breaking into the theater community were high,” he said. “Every place we worked at closed.” The twosome penetrated the motor coach industry and business continues to double annually. Now in its seventh year, “Cabaret Lulu” has grown to a company of fourteen and attracts seniors, students, and tourists.

Marketing their act takes a toll on their relationship from time to time, but the couple has learned how to handle it. “Emotionally I may get frustrated,” Lucille admits, “but I have to remember that there is a personal relationship underneath that comes first.”

According to a recent workplace benefits survey conducted by the Society for Human Resources Management (SHRM), there has been an overall decrease in the number of employers offering general and fringe benefits in some areas. SHRM attributes these decreases to employers “focusing their resources more effectively.” Does this mean your dog Skip won’t be going to company-sponsored ice cream socials anymore? Maybe, but a tougher economic environment doesn’t mean the end of more important family benefits–dependent healthcare, family leave, paid vacations, and so on. You have to understand what employers offer, what the industry norms are, and find your way to a family-friendly company.

Knowing more about these benefits is the first step. Most of them, in general, are designed to maximize your workplace productivity and enrich your family life.

Family and Medical Leave
The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) of 1993 affects most private and public employers in the United States. The FMLA entitles eligible employees to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave in a 12-month period for specified family and medical reasons. Workers may request leaves for the birth of a child or for serious medical circumstances that impact the employee or an immediate family member. Some companies will offer additional maternity and/or paternity leaves beyond the 12-week minimum.

Flexibility
Increased diversity in the workplace has prompted many employers to be more flexible. Benefits such as flextime, compressed workweeks, job sharing, telecommuting, and custom health options are all designed to meet each employee’s specific preferences. For example, nearly 30 percent of Merrill Lynch’s 51,000 employees now use flexible work arrangements.

Dependent Care
Dependent care can take on many forms, including benefits for a child, elderly parent, or domestic partner. Some common dependent benefits include direct services–onsite/offsite daycare centers or financial services (dependent expense accounts and reimbursements). An employee’s parent may be classified as a dependent and offered similar benefits. Most recently, companies have begun to offer domestic partner benefits. This entitles a same-sex or opposite-sex unmarried partner to full “spouse-equivalent” benefits.

Other Family Benefits
A number of other benefits are not as prevalent, but they do exist: scholarships, tuition refunds, relocation assistance, home leave, cost-of-living allowances, transit subsidies, and so on. A company would rather retain its own workforce than go through expensive and time-consuming turnovers. For example, relocation reimbursements are common when a company asks an employee to move to another domestic or foreign office. In certain cases, as in management-level relocations, employers will include living allowances, reimbursement of a spouse’s lost income, and transit costs for home visits.

Finding Family-Friendly Companies
As with compensation, employee benefits vary dramatically by company size, job function, and industry standard. First, you should decide what’s most important to you. Companies may allow you to select the benefits that are most applicable to you. If you are a single mother, flextime and daycare may be critical to you, but paternal leave may not be at the top of your priorities. Also, pay attention to laws that apply to private, smaller businesses. For example, private employers with 50 employees or less are not covered under the FMLA and therefore not obligated to provide those benefits. So, do your research, talk to a company HR representative, and even arrange a meeting with a current employee before accepting any position.

In addition, publications such as Fortune and Working Woman publish annual rankings and surveys of the best companies to work for. Often, family benefits at top companies are profiled and compared in detail. Companies with the best family benefits are typically larger and more established; they’ve been around for years and can endure short-term economic downturns. Companies like IBM, Bank of America, Merrill Lynch, Southwest Airlines, and Charles Schwab are perennial fron-runners.

Finally, public agencies (the Bureau of Labor Statistics) and private consulting firms (Watson Wyatt Worldwide) both publish specific compensation and benefits surveys across different regions, industries, and job functions. Once you are armed with all this information, finding a company that caters to your family should be a breeze.

Taking ownership in a company and its successes, whether you’re actually an owner or not, can make long hours more palatable. “If you’re a stockholder,” says Rice, “you are, in fact, part-owner. In that case, it would probably behoove you to work as many hours as it takes to get the job done. Get involved in the success of the company and it becomes less of a chore.” The extra hours may also help you get ahead.

Rice stresses quality, not quantity, when it comes to overtime. “I believe there are three reasons why people are hired: to make money for a company, to save money for a company, or to solve a problem. People get hung up on the number of hours they put in, when it’s really one of those three issues they should be focused on.”

When Richard Needles defined his goals 22 years ago, he sought to become a human resources generalist for a major corporation. Another main objective: to retire at 55. Needles is now the senior vice president of global human resources for Sterling Commerce, a provider of e-commerce solutions in Ohio.

“When I first started out,” Needles says, “I saw that my cohorts were getting in at 8 a.m. and leaving at 5:15. So I started showing up at 7:30 and leaving at 5:30, and I worked for about three hours on Saturdays. Suddenly, I was better prepared on Monday mornings than they were. It got me a step ahead.”

Now Needles is in a position to communicate to Sterling Commerce employees his expectations regarding hours. “I think that it’s reasonable to expect most employees to work 37.5 to 43 hours each week.” Needles expects 45 to 47 hours from managers; 50 hours from directors; 55 hours from vice presidents; and top-level executives such as presidents are expected to put in 60-hour weeks. “No one can define balance for any other individual,” says Needles. “I have a very specific plan, so I went down a very specific career path to get there.”

Matching Expectations and Reality
Jobseekers should decide if a time commitment sounds feasible before jumping onboard at a new company. “The kind of company, the kind of business, and the cycle of that business all dictate what’s expected of employees,” says Joyce Leger, human resources manager for ePresence, a Web development and consulting firm in Westboro, MA. She notes that the e-commerce explosion is creating numerous jobs, most of which require numerous hours.

“If you’re talking about a dot-com or a start-up company,” says Leger, “the expectation is that you work a 60 to 80-hour week.” The trade-offs, such as valuable stock options and double-digit increases, offset the extra hours for many people. “But for someone who’s got family or other personal commitments and can only work 40 hours, it’s not going to be a good fit.”

Speak candidly about expectations before taking a position, Leger advises. “Most employers will bring this up in an interview because they want a good fit. But if the interviewer doesn’t bring it up, by all means, ask.”

The Balancing Act
Today, it seems that no occupation is exempt from overtime. Giving every endeavor 100 percent, whether it’s work- or pleasure-related, is one way to balance overtime with personal time. As the executive director of the Altoona Railroaders Memorial Museum in Pennsylvania, self-described family man Cummins McNitt manages a staff of 30 and a budget in excess of $1 million. He also does more than his share of community volunteer work. McNitt tries to “stay centered on family life and spiritual life,” and home time means family time–at least while his son is awake.

“We spend our family time, we do homework, we go to basketball games,” McNitt says. But when his 10-year-old goes to bed, McNitt’s laptop often reappears so he can resume work on grant writing and correspondence.

Learning to Love the Stress
Sacrificing time off to take a job is commonplace for Spencer and Liz Kennard, co-owners of Kelsey-Kennard Studio in Chatham, MA. Whether they’re rising early on a Sunday morning to capture clear aerial photos (one of Spencer’s specialties) or spending New Year’s Eve on the job, the Kennards juggle hectic workdays with caring for two teenage sons.

“You don’t want area businesses calling someone else,” Liz says. “You don’t want to lose contact with your clients.” She admits forsaking housework to enjoy an evening off on the family boat. “Whenever we get a free moment, we snag it and go.”

The constant flux of vehicles, policies, and people at Best Ford and Cycle in Nashua, NH, keeps Holly McMillan busy 55 to 60 hours a week. “You almost have to enjoy a certain stress level to work at an auto dealership,” McMillan says. As business manager, every single purchase transaction eventually crosses her desk. She and the sales manager must wait until the last customer of the day is serviced, so indecisive and late-arriving patrons keep her hours unpredictable.

McMillan finds balance in family cookouts or walking with her dogs on the beach. After 14 years in the motorcycle and automobile industry, her time investment is sufficient incentive to work hard–and late. “Having gotten to where I want to be,” she says, “I want to do the best job I can.”

In that, she echoes the sentiments of thousands of other workers who have learned to live without their stopwatches.

Can great parents be great workers?

Rising to the Challenge
Many companies now recognize the value in supporting parental commitments. This is especially true since the Family and Medical Leave Act passed in 1993, prompting corporate America to offer working parents a certain amount of security. For smaller companies, a family-friendly environment means flexible hours, telecommuting options, and support for parents who need to attend to a sick child. Larger companies might provide onsite day care, extra days off for family time or maternity leave, and dependent child programs.

Parents can learn more about family-friendly companies online. One site, familyfriendly.com, features a searchable database of companies that provide specific programs for working parents. You can search by onsite childcare programs, for example, dependent care assistance, or special holiday and vacation plans. The site tells you which companies provide those benefits.
Some daycare centers offer an occasional peak into their daily activities via an interactive Web site.

Other Web resources can help parents research and select a quality daycare program. Babycenter.com has a complete daycare section, including a chart that evaluates different centers, stay-at-home options, nannies, preschools, and relative caregivers. This site also provides a list of questions to ask during child caregiver interviews.

Case in Point
Parents know that the childcare arrangement they choose will impact the well being of their child and their own success at work. Parents who constantly worry about the quality of their child’s environment–or who rely on an unprepared caregiver–suffer from stress that may derail their careers.

One parent who knows a good daycare choice when she sees it is Stacy Sass, publishing professional and mother of two young children. After careful research, Sass found a center that provided a good environment and great teacher-to-child ratio. However, if one of her children had a fever or runny nose, Sass or her husband had to stay home from work. They were always able to work through such difficulties, but the daycare center eventually grew and raised the number of kids per teacher. The family opted for in-home care and hired a nanny.

The individual care option worked out well, but Sass points out the difficulty in finding a good nanny. Even if a candidate interviews well and has impressive references, there is still a chance that the person will spend too much time watching TV or talking on the phone.

New Technology, Old Concerns
Some parents are now opting to invest in a home Webcam system to keep tabs on their children while at work. Some daycare centers even offer an occasional peak into their daily activities via an interactive Web site. Working parents take a short break and watch their preschooler play with friends–or even check in on the nanny at home.

Parents have to deal with a sick child every now and then, and some companies have geared up to help. Eddie Bauer, for example, provides time off for parents to spend with an ill child. Another company, Lincoln Financial Group, has been frequently praised by Working Mother magazine for providing such benefits as child-care subsidies and back-up childcare assistance.

All in all, this just makes good business sense. Supporting parents as they try to balance dual roles ultimately pays off. Employees are more likely to stay loyal to the company–and stay focused on the job.